The holiday season is full of nostalgia, so it’s not entirely surprising that you might receive a text message from a curious ex during this time. An innocent message is one thing, but if an ex walks back into your life looking to rekindle things as soon as the nights get a little cooler, You May Be On The End Of The Latest Dating Trend Called “The Latest Dating Trend”Winter coating.
“Winter coating is when a former partner or lover from your past tries to rekindle your romance for the winter months in an effort to avoid loneliness and other difficult feelings,” says Meena B, a goodwill Relationship Specialist.
Think about it this way: YWhen it starts getting chilly outside, grab your trusty parka; However, the minute it starts to heat up, you discard it because you no longer need it. Nice, isn’t it? While winter coating follows other cringe-worthy dating trends like cuffing and snow globeThere’s no point in the reappearance of an ex during the holidays.
“Break-ups are hard, and because of that, reminiscing about your ex,Even if it was you who initiated the breakup—that’s normal,” B. it is said. “During the holidays, it can be a strong pull to rekindle a relationship with an ex because the holidays are a time of love, family, and connection, And if you spent previous holidays with your ex, not being around them during this new season can feel difficult as you adjust to not having them around and potentially have to explain that to your family. Why is your ex not present this year?
Factor in emotionally overwhelming weather and seasonal affective disorder, and it’s understandable why people feel lonely in the winter. The familiarity of an ex also seems more appealing to most, especially if you’re feeling depressed. However, that doesn’t mean you should get back with your ex right away. If your ex comes back with all the warmth this winter, here’s what to consider before answering that text.
be clear about your intentions
It doesn’t matter who you date—whether it’s an ex or a new partner—B. It’s important to date with clear intentions, he says, “and when you break up with someone, there’s a reason why you made such a difficult decision.”
If an ex reappears and attempts to rekindle a connection, she advises asking yourself: What has changed? What will be different now than before? Is the reason for your break up still an active issue and has his behavior changed?
Another important thing to ask yourself is according to B.Is: “‘aI’m reconnecting with my ex because it’s the easiest way to manage my sadness instead of dealing with my sadness?’ “Breakup is heavy on the heart, and when it happens, It’s natural for people to look for quick ways to relieve their pain, and they believe that getting back with their ex is the solution they really need, they need to grieve their loss, Manage the grief of the end of your relationship and move on.”
What to do if you decide to answer the text/call
So your ex has texted you and wants to connect further. Before you are swept away by your feelings and visions of enduring fire, B. recommends asking them the following questions:
- What will be different this time?
- Do you understand why we broke up and what we need to change in order to try again?
- Why should we try to make this work again?
- what are your intentions? What changes have you made that will help us move forward?
By asking these questions, You’ll both be on the same page from the jump and know exactly where you stand and what to expect from reconnection.
Hint that your ex”winter wrap you
Even if you ask all the right questions and have good intentions, your ex “might” still bewinter wrap You—perhaps without being fully aware of it. To ensure the validity of their reconfiguration, B. is called Pay attention to distance in time. “If you and your ex broke up in January and haven’t had any contact all year, they reappear the week before Thanksgiving to ask how you’re doing and how you plan to spend the holidays.” This may be a clear indication of their motive, perhaps to deal with their holiday loneliness rather than actually reconnecting with you.” she explains.
She also recommends paying attention to ancestors who pop up during the holidays and context about gifts they hope to receive or share with you. Chances are, they’re looking to buy them something under the guise of getting back together. Other signs to look out for are your ex asking you to attend family gatherings even though you’re no longer together. Or referring to dating only around the holidays, but not in the new year.
decide what you want
whereas B. it says While working with an ex a second time is possible, it also means that something has changed that will allow you and your ex to make it work. “The problem that caused your breakup in the first place needs to be addressed and resolved in order to feel like it’s possible to move on,” she says. “You also want to make sure your ex intends to stick around after the holidays to make sure it’s not just a winter-coating situation.” So when your ex comes back, she recommends being firm with your boundaries and deciding what you’re willing to put up with and what you’re not.
“Too, Be brave enough to seek clarity and ask the questions you need to make sure this reconnection is due to genuine interest and wanting to get back together,” she says. If you choose to drop the coat and move on from the relationship once and for all, reconnect with yourself and understand what you need and want before you start dating again.”